“But what is it?” When I opened the box containing my order of Athletic Greens, my wife expressed skepticism.
“But seriously: What is Athletic Greens?”
Athletic Greens branded content would have you believe it is a “Complete supplement for a better you,” or a “Daily dose of nutritional insurance.” If those answers leave you feeling like a marketing agency wrote up some copy and stuck it on the packaging, then let me explain.
This is a green health drink made up of 75 ingredients, minerals, and vitamins. It comes in powder form, and it works best when mixed with cold water first thing in the morning. Sometimes, I toss it into my blender and make it as a smoothie. Either way, lots of nutrients.
75 ingredients? Are Any Of Them Yucky?
When my wife asks if something is yucky, she typically means animal-based. So the short answer here is: Nope. Nothing yucky.
This combination of minerals and vitamins has been tweaked over 50 times, producing a mix optimized and approved by nutritionists, doctors, and naturopaths. Manufactured in a clean facility in New Zealand, Athletic Greens does not skimp on sourcing and using quality, healthy ingredients.
The Athletic Greens site provides a shockingly-comprehensive breakdown of each ingredient and its purpose and benefits. I’ll spare you the details because for every “carrot” explanation (Carrots have beta-carotene, an antioxidant and vitamin A precursor, as well as high levels of potassium), there is a “bromelain” (Bromelain is the collective name for a group of enzymes and cofactors, extracted from the stems of pineapple. Bromelain helps you break down and digest protein and provides anti-inflammatory support.) This mixture is finely-tuned to be absorbed and synthesized by your body.
So what does Athletic Greens do?
The keyword to this answer is: “Supports.” Athletic Greens cautiously approaches the benefits of their product. Instead of promising improvement or cures, they repeatedly state that the mixture supports “energy,” “digestion,” “immunity,” and “recovery.”
How? Well, that’s buried in the technical science aspects of all the ingredients. It seems like it’s doing a lot, though you really have to have the patience to figure out what it is.
Have you ever seen a police or lawyer show where the plan involves burying the opposition in evidence? “They want evidence? I’ll give them evidence.” And then we see a scene of someone hauling 18 bankers boxes into the office?
I am torn about using this comparison. Not to come off as anti-transparency; I just feel a bit funny reading how CoQ10 works in my body. Maybe I am a lazy consumer, more content to take something like “75 Highly Absorbable Ingredients” at face value and not dig any further.
Fine, It’s “Good For You.” But Does It Taste Good?
Define good? Good is relative! Good to me may not be good to you. I am not the judge, jury, and expert taster.
Personally, no, I don’t think it tastes good. But I have about 19 red wine varietals that I adore, and my wife thinks tastes bad. Who’s to say what good is?
Again, it comes back to the ingredients, minerals, and vitamins. And sweetener. While Athletic Greens contains no sugar, it surely contains Stevia, which I am assured is used only to improve flavor. So right off the bat, ask yourself: do I even think Stevia tastes good?
Let me remind you that this mixture is comprised of 75 vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and enzymes. We’re not talking eggs, butter, sugar, vanilla extract, and flour here. If you want a dessert, I’ve got a peanut butter cookie and cake in a mug recipe right here.
Where Did You Get Athletic Greens, and What Did It Cost?
Like most things these days, I find my new products on Instagram. Sometimes the algorithms are off, and I get ads for maternity overalls and nursing bras, but mostly, they direct me towards things like Athletic Greens. As someone who has non-dad-bod aspirations, a product like Athletic Greens appeals to my sense of “maybe I should be healthier.” I was enticed by their initial offering, which gave me 20% off my first order. I got my pouch for just about $75, granted that required me to sign up for a monthly subscription. I decided that I could try for at least two months, and if I didn’t like it, I could always cancel. If I had gone the “one-time” offer route, the pouch would have been about $100.
The price point may seem high. In fact, when I clicked the first time through the ad, I thought: $100 for 75 greens? That seems like far too much! But the more I thought about it and looked into comparative products, or smoothie blenders plus pouches, I realized that this was a fair offer. You can’t find this type of specialized, well-sourced, healthy mixture anywhere else.
After a few weeks of using Athletic Greens, I feel better. Better, like good, is relative. I have traded in afternoon espressos for morning Athletic Greens and have more energy because of it. I wake up feeling more refreshed than I have for as far back as I can remember. The cost can be daunting, and the taste can be off-putting, but once you commit to a product that supports you in your quest to get healthier and feel better, you realize it’s actually worth it. I say go for it; your body will thank you.